So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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