Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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