he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
