if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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