just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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