when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
