this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
