What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she peed on how many people?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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