She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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