TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
