I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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