Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
