Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
