Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
