we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
