Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize