Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
