capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
