omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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