I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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