Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
