remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
