To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize