Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
