All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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