They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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