If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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