just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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