I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Randomize
