you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
