Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
