uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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