So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
