I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
