So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
