One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
