your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
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