Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
