are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
