she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
