remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
