I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
