My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
