At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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