Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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