You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
