why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
