So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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