GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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