i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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