So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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