I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The power of my boobs compel you
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
