The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
