I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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