at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
