It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Is it because I queefed?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
