fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize